He loves me. He loves me not.
He loves me. He loves me not.
He loves me. He. Loves. Me. Not!
As a kid I got so mad when I’d end on a “loves me not” petal. After questioning whose bright idea this game was to begin with, I would pick a second flower and start over with hope for a better outcome.
The original name of this game is “effeuiller la marguerite.” It’s a game of French origin with the intent of determining if the object of your affection returned your affection. Ladies played for the gents they crushed on and gents played for the ladies they crushed on!
Most often, we experience our first crush sometime in elementary school, or maybe even in kindergarten! For me, it was the first time I had experienced the sensation of butterflies in my stomach. It made me quite the nervous and bashful 1st grader. Most of us still remember our first crush, first kiss, and the inevitable first heart break.
When we’re young, simple attributes like good looks and the ability to crack a smile are enough to make us fall head over heels. As we grow older and more mature, it’s not quite as simple. Our list of demands and non-negotiables grows much longer. We learn what really matters to us and many times these lessons come through heartbreak.
As we get older we begin to not only question what we want in a partner, but what we want in life overall. We question our purpose and just when we think we have it all figured it out, we start to question if our desires are worth chasing or if they’re just pipe dreams. We question if they are genuine or if they just sound good on paper.
The heart and the brain are complex organs that make us examine our feelings. Have you ever debated whether you should follow your heart or your head? Have you ever put forth the effort to determine what the desires of your heart really are?
It’s not as simple as it sounds. We frequently think we know what we want in a partner and in life, only to find when our desires are met the void we were trying to fill is still there. Those desires weren’t in fact what we thought we wanted.
Desires of the heart come in many shapes and sizes, for example,
- Healthy relationships and happy marriages.
- The desire to have children.
- Financial freedom.
- Jobs and careers that are purposeful.
- Volunteer work that impacts change and fulfills the soul.
How is it that some people seem to have it all together? You know who I’m talking about. The people for whom everything seems to fall in place. The people who have undoubtedly obtained the desires of their heart.
I learned this mystery through my 2021 word: Word. God’s word, that is.
Psalm 37:4 explains the means to obtaining your heart’s desire.
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”
This Bible verse, like many, can be interpreted many ways. As humans we generally interpret things the way we want them to be, not what they actually are. Unfortunately, this verse isn’t about the exchange of prayer for the new car we want. If that were the case, we’d see a lot of nice cars every day! It’s about being genuine, alignment and collaboration.
There are several components to delighting ourselves in the Lord. This list is not all inclusive, but it’s a good start.
Spend time with Him.
Genuinely. Not because something is wrong or because you feel obligated. Give Him the praise and glory He deserves because you recognize and have gratitude for the love and mercy He has for us every day. At first, you may have to intentionally pencil Him in to your agenda, but over time, it will become more genuine and natural.
Give thanks during tough times.
This is a hard one. I remember the first time I gave this a shot. It was when my Jeep broke down at a very inconvenient time and equally inconvenient place. I wanted to punch the steering wheel 758984562 times. (Ok, maybe I did along with dropping a couple F bombs.) After a deep breath, I said out loud “Thank you God for my Jeep. Thank you for the reliability it’s given me all these years. Everything in my life comes from You and You have always provided every single thing I need. You are a good, good Father. I thank you and I praise You.”
Since that time, it has become easier and a go-to reaction to give praise in times of trouble. The trouble always passes. It’s easier to do when your car breaks down than when you experience the loss of a loved one, but the more you practice, the more you will find yourself relying on this form of prayer.
Align yourself with His will.
How do you know what His will is?
Spend Time. Ask Him. Trust Him. Thank Him.
The desires of our heart are met when our desires become God’s desire. If we leave it up to Him and open our hearts to Him, He will place His desires in our hearts and it will be for the greater good of all. When I pray it generally sounds like this:
“God, I think this is what I want (insert my desires). You know what is best for me. If this is your will, I pray it be done. If it is not, I trust You and the ‘something better’ you will provide.”
God WANTS to give us the desires of our heart. He wants to EXCEED those desires for us. He also gave us Free Will because he wants us to be sincere and genuine in our relationship with Him. From this relationship comes alignment and from alignment, comes fulfillment.
Imagine playing a version of effeuiller la marguerite that went like this:
He loves me. He loves me lots.
He loves me. He loves me lots.
He loves me. He. Loves. Me. Lots!
That’s the win you get every time, when you make God the object of your affection.
I pray peace, love and comfort this Valentine’s day for those whose loves have passed on. I pray they hold tight to the love of God that is within each and every one of our hearts.
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May God bless and protect our country and everyone reading.